There are many times during this journey of 5 treatments so far that I find myself in a dark place. I feel like this will never end. It seems as though the blisters on my tongue will not allow me to taste food or drink a beverage without pain, the sensitivity in my hands will never allow me to hold cold drink or Grayson's cold hand, the knives in my throat will not let me lick an ice cream cone and the sinking feeling in my stomach will be there forever. Then, on about day 5 after each treatment a veil of darkness and hopelessness is lifted. I see that things are slowly improving and that I WILL get to the end. I WILL survive these treatments to live a life with my family.
I fear the return of cancer. I fear the stopping or lessening of the oxaliplatin will lessen my chances for complete recovery.
Then there are many days filled with sunlight and amazing laughter with my family.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Friday, March 8, 2013
Day 8 After 2nd Treatment
Well, this one did not wear off quite as easily. I'll start at the beginning of this round.
The second week after the last chemo which happened to be my 43rd birthday. It was a nice way to celebrate! I felt good my energy was back and I could almost forget I had cancer (until someone looked at me...then I remembered).
My chemo day started with an appointment with the surgeon to check on my healing. The dr. waltzed in with his Napoleon like demeanor (he isn't mean, just a little confident, which I guess isn't a bad quality in a surgeon. Plus, he isn't very high in the height department either) and introduced me to his intern. Being a model patient, he released me to do everything but heavy squats in a weight lifting competition. He might have been finished with me, but I wasn't finished with him. "So, did you feel any needles last Thursday?" Looking a little puzzled, he shook his head no. "Well, I was poking your voodoo doll with needles! Why didn't you leave my port accessed? You knew I had chemo the next day!" He stuttered to get a few words out. Trying to cover his tracks, he went through the sequence of events out loud. "That was so painful! Don't ever do that to anyone again and I think you owe me a weekend at the beach!"He didn't really have a whole lot to say. His intern tried not to smirk, but didn't hide it very well either. I felt good about telling him how I felt in a humorous but frank way.
I wasn't very apprehensive about getting the port accessed this time. I knew without a doubt that it would be easier and less traumatizing than last time. But, walking in and giving my name just made me nauseated. David and I sat there just chatting about all sorts of things. When we were called back the same person that drew my blood the last 2 times I visited this place (once for my first appt with Dr. Palmer & once for chemo) was there. She is a very funny young woman and reminds me of Blair's soon to be wife Gretchen. I really like talking to her. She is a great distraction. She asked me the normal questions and then said Gina would be right in. I asked if they were taking blood today and she said yes that Gina is very gentle. Then I remembered.....they will do all of that through the port this time. I started feeling anxious and nauseated. How can she access my port while I am sitting here in this chair. I need to lay down. But, it was easy once Gina came in. Her mannerisms are calming. Her voice is as smooth as honey. The twinkle in her eye lets you know there is plenty of spunk under there. Being a southern woman, the spunk rides just right under the first layer of her being. You know it is there, but she isn't going to show it to you. She talked to me about nonsense the whole time and had the port accessed, the blood drawn and floated out the door with the same dancing motions as she came in the door.
Then the agony of waiting for the dr. She was over 20 min. late. Now I know that the later I start the chemo the later I have to go on Saturday to get the pump out. Honestly, I want everything as fast as I can get it. The faster I get it done, the faster I am finished.
I had a whole list of questions, but decided to go with the one bothering me the most and skip the rest so I could get the chemo started. The neuropathy is really bothering me. The needles in my hands make using the computer a challenge, eating, driving, writing and pretty much everything is painful. My question was - if they have to lower the dose of Oxipliplatin will that make it less effective. Dr. Palmer's gorgeous Jamaican accent made her answer even sweeter. "No. Some people just need less than others." She doesn't want to adjust it now. She wants to wait until the next round to see how it goes. She said I should start taking B6 and Calcium. There isn't research behind it helping, but it wouldn't do any damage.
So, the next step, get hooked up and let the juices flow. When Nina came in, I told her what I had told the surgeon. With her eyes as large as saucers, she said, "Did you really say that to him?" I said, "Absolutely, I did. I wasn't mean about it, but I felt he should know not to ever do that again!" A huge smile crossed her face and she gave me a big high five."
While I was hooked to the pole, I answered some emails, watched some TV, tried to sleep, looked at magazines, and played on the iPad while waiting for the drugs to make their way into my system. We didn't leave again until 4 p.m. It is a long day when you arrive at 9:15!
Thursday evening I was tired, but felt okay. The neuropathy started right away this time. Something very freaky happened this time. My hands and face started to draw up. My hands would get cramps in them so bad I couldn't straighten my fingers. I looked like a 90 year old woman. The back of my calves felt like I had danced for 20 hours in heels all weekend & through Monday. Friday I went to work the whole day and was pretty wiped. Saturday got up and around. Mom took me to get my pump out and then my energy kind of went down hill. From Saturday through Monday, I had no energy at all. The cold sensitivity was pretty brutal. This time, eating wasn't a problem, but everything I tried to drink tasted like metal and felt like needles going down. I talked with David's Aunt Brenda to get ideas about things I could try. She did suggest jello, but basically said you just have to force yourself so you don't get dehydrated. Also, a new symptom, it was like I could feel my bone marrow shrinking or something. My bones ached. This time the cold sensitivity is still here. The tingling in my hands is lasting I would say 1/4 of the day every day for the past 8 days. I am constipated. Not really sure if I am not feeling well because of the chemo or my stomach issues. David reminded me that my surgery wasn't that long ago and I am probably not totally healed yet.
My birthday was fun. I got many well wishes, cards and hugs. The boys were great! David made me utensil sections for the kitchen which don't sound great, but I have wanted them for a long time!!! :)
I got to Face Time with Wayne. Max is coming down every morning with a blue shirt on and throwing it at Wayne and saying I am wearing a blue shirt for Aunt Toni again today Dada. I love that! There is still a possibility for the coordinator job which would be great! People were donating right and left to the Relay for Life team! Mom has been helping out and even came over and fixed my juice! I am so humbled by the love and support I have been shown through all of this! So the week after my first chemo was full of wonderful things.
Hopefully I will recover fully soon from this one so I will be ready for Thursday!
The second week after the last chemo which happened to be my 43rd birthday. It was a nice way to celebrate! I felt good my energy was back and I could almost forget I had cancer (until someone looked at me...then I remembered).
My chemo day started with an appointment with the surgeon to check on my healing. The dr. waltzed in with his Napoleon like demeanor (he isn't mean, just a little confident, which I guess isn't a bad quality in a surgeon. Plus, he isn't very high in the height department either) and introduced me to his intern. Being a model patient, he released me to do everything but heavy squats in a weight lifting competition. He might have been finished with me, but I wasn't finished with him. "So, did you feel any needles last Thursday?" Looking a little puzzled, he shook his head no. "Well, I was poking your voodoo doll with needles! Why didn't you leave my port accessed? You knew I had chemo the next day!" He stuttered to get a few words out. Trying to cover his tracks, he went through the sequence of events out loud. "That was so painful! Don't ever do that to anyone again and I think you owe me a weekend at the beach!"He didn't really have a whole lot to say. His intern tried not to smirk, but didn't hide it very well either. I felt good about telling him how I felt in a humorous but frank way.
I wasn't very apprehensive about getting the port accessed this time. I knew without a doubt that it would be easier and less traumatizing than last time. But, walking in and giving my name just made me nauseated. David and I sat there just chatting about all sorts of things. When we were called back the same person that drew my blood the last 2 times I visited this place (once for my first appt with Dr. Palmer & once for chemo) was there. She is a very funny young woman and reminds me of Blair's soon to be wife Gretchen. I really like talking to her. She is a great distraction. She asked me the normal questions and then said Gina would be right in. I asked if they were taking blood today and she said yes that Gina is very gentle. Then I remembered.....they will do all of that through the port this time. I started feeling anxious and nauseated. How can she access my port while I am sitting here in this chair. I need to lay down. But, it was easy once Gina came in. Her mannerisms are calming. Her voice is as smooth as honey. The twinkle in her eye lets you know there is plenty of spunk under there. Being a southern woman, the spunk rides just right under the first layer of her being. You know it is there, but she isn't going to show it to you. She talked to me about nonsense the whole time and had the port accessed, the blood drawn and floated out the door with the same dancing motions as she came in the door.
Then the agony of waiting for the dr. She was over 20 min. late. Now I know that the later I start the chemo the later I have to go on Saturday to get the pump out. Honestly, I want everything as fast as I can get it. The faster I get it done, the faster I am finished.
I had a whole list of questions, but decided to go with the one bothering me the most and skip the rest so I could get the chemo started. The neuropathy is really bothering me. The needles in my hands make using the computer a challenge, eating, driving, writing and pretty much everything is painful. My question was - if they have to lower the dose of Oxipliplatin will that make it less effective. Dr. Palmer's gorgeous Jamaican accent made her answer even sweeter. "No. Some people just need less than others." She doesn't want to adjust it now. She wants to wait until the next round to see how it goes. She said I should start taking B6 and Calcium. There isn't research behind it helping, but it wouldn't do any damage.
So, the next step, get hooked up and let the juices flow. When Nina came in, I told her what I had told the surgeon. With her eyes as large as saucers, she said, "Did you really say that to him?" I said, "Absolutely, I did. I wasn't mean about it, but I felt he should know not to ever do that again!" A huge smile crossed her face and she gave me a big high five."
While I was hooked to the pole, I answered some emails, watched some TV, tried to sleep, looked at magazines, and played on the iPad while waiting for the drugs to make their way into my system. We didn't leave again until 4 p.m. It is a long day when you arrive at 9:15!
Thursday evening I was tired, but felt okay. The neuropathy started right away this time. Something very freaky happened this time. My hands and face started to draw up. My hands would get cramps in them so bad I couldn't straighten my fingers. I looked like a 90 year old woman. The back of my calves felt like I had danced for 20 hours in heels all weekend & through Monday. Friday I went to work the whole day and was pretty wiped. Saturday got up and around. Mom took me to get my pump out and then my energy kind of went down hill. From Saturday through Monday, I had no energy at all. The cold sensitivity was pretty brutal. This time, eating wasn't a problem, but everything I tried to drink tasted like metal and felt like needles going down. I talked with David's Aunt Brenda to get ideas about things I could try. She did suggest jello, but basically said you just have to force yourself so you don't get dehydrated. Also, a new symptom, it was like I could feel my bone marrow shrinking or something. My bones ached. This time the cold sensitivity is still here. The tingling in my hands is lasting I would say 1/4 of the day every day for the past 8 days. I am constipated. Not really sure if I am not feeling well because of the chemo or my stomach issues. David reminded me that my surgery wasn't that long ago and I am probably not totally healed yet.
My birthday was fun. I got many well wishes, cards and hugs. The boys were great! David made me utensil sections for the kitchen which don't sound great, but I have wanted them for a long time!!! :)
I got to Face Time with Wayne. Max is coming down every morning with a blue shirt on and throwing it at Wayne and saying I am wearing a blue shirt for Aunt Toni again today Dada. I love that! There is still a possibility for the coordinator job which would be great! People were donating right and left to the Relay for Life team! Mom has been helping out and even came over and fixed my juice! I am so humbled by the love and support I have been shown through all of this! So the week after my first chemo was full of wonderful things.
Hopefully I will recover fully soon from this one so I will be ready for Thursday!
Saturday, February 16, 2013
Day 3 of first treatment
I believe that I am aware and mindful of my situation. I have educated myself on the possibilities of the future of my treatments, damages done by the chemo, the chance of remission/recurrence, etc. but, there are moments where I actually don't think about my fight. There are moments where I feel normal; where my scars don't ache and the pump isn't humming, I enjoy those moments once I realize that I have had a moment without cancer consuming my thoughts.
The first treatment has gone okay, I have experienced the first bite syndrome which was painful. But Michael, the chemo educator, told me to try hotter foods first. It really helped. The tingling in my hands came and went throughout the day yesterday. Other than that, I felt pretty good. A bit of nausea when I hadn't eaten in a while nor taken the anti nausea mediation.
I enjoyed talking to joy when I went to work today. It was actually pretty entertaining to see people be pretty surprised to see me at work. Pat Lintner came in while I was talking to joy and said he was really surprised to see me walking yesterday on my first day of chemo. He said he almost ran into the wall in the curve draining his neck to see if it was really me. Wayne hit the nail on the head. He said, "you are making a statement." I was making a statement to other people as well as myself. I won't let this get me down. People have told me a million times that attitude makes the biggest difference. I truly believe that.
I don't feel that I am just saying that I have a positive outlook. I really feel it.
After the tingling started, I was pretty discouraged. Since they say the symptoms will be cumulative. But, I am not throwing up. I have little nausea and worked almost a whole day yesterday. So, I think I am pretty good!
On Thursday, I put a picture of my port on fb. The weird thing is when I see it now, it makes me feel very strange. Even though my shoulder pain is a constant reminder that I have a port buried under my skin, I still don't always remember that I am taking chemo. Sometimes I look at that picture and I am proud. I survived a very tough day with a lot of pain. I was willing to give Gina a one shot deal to get my port accessed. On the other hand, I sometimes look at that picture and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't believe it is from the pain of that day. It is a punch in the gut with a dose of chemicals & reality.
The first treatment has gone okay, I have experienced the first bite syndrome which was painful. But Michael, the chemo educator, told me to try hotter foods first. It really helped. The tingling in my hands came and went throughout the day yesterday. Other than that, I felt pretty good. A bit of nausea when I hadn't eaten in a while nor taken the anti nausea mediation.
I enjoyed talking to joy when I went to work today. It was actually pretty entertaining to see people be pretty surprised to see me at work. Pat Lintner came in while I was talking to joy and said he was really surprised to see me walking yesterday on my first day of chemo. He said he almost ran into the wall in the curve draining his neck to see if it was really me. Wayne hit the nail on the head. He said, "you are making a statement." I was making a statement to other people as well as myself. I won't let this get me down. People have told me a million times that attitude makes the biggest difference. I truly believe that.
I don't feel that I am just saying that I have a positive outlook. I really feel it.
After the tingling started, I was pretty discouraged. Since they say the symptoms will be cumulative. But, I am not throwing up. I have little nausea and worked almost a whole day yesterday. So, I think I am pretty good!
On Thursday, I put a picture of my port on fb. The weird thing is when I see it now, it makes me feel very strange. Even though my shoulder pain is a constant reminder that I have a port buried under my skin, I still don't always remember that I am taking chemo. Sometimes I look at that picture and I am proud. I survived a very tough day with a lot of pain. I was willing to give Gina a one shot deal to get my port accessed. On the other hand, I sometimes look at that picture and I feel sick to my stomach. I don't believe it is from the pain of that day. It is a punch in the gut with a dose of chemicals & reality.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Reality Check
Before we can go forward, we need to look back. Way back. They believe I have Lynch Syndrome (being confirmed at Duke University) a form of hereditary colon cancer which was one of the many things my surgeon said on our second meeting that I had never heard of before.
This whole journey started at my general physician's office. I call her my horse doctor. She tells me like it is whether I am ready to hear it or not. On this day, it was supposed to be just a follow up on some medication changes. When I first got there, the receptionist handed me a health checklist to update. I hesitated to add that I had blood in my stool for the last 4-6 weeks (miracle #1). Even though, I have had two children...therefore, I have hemorrhoids, I recorded the blood anyway. As my doctor went over ALL of the info on that sheet, she ordered another x-ray of my foot (bone spurs), asked in depth questions about how my hip is doing (bursitis & tendinitis) and then she froze. She turned at me and peered over her reading glasses with her steel blue eyes. "Does your family have a history of colon cancer?" She froze waiting for my response. I froze and was speechless. I had read a bit online about some of the things that could be causing the blood in my stool. Since it was bright red, it was almost certainly there because of the reason above, not cancer. But, it was still hard to hear a doctor say those words.
A family history! HA! My dad's family has struggled with just about every cancer on the planet. I have watched wonder family and friends struggle with the diagnosis and treatment of this invader. But, I am young. Only 42, there is no way I have colon cancer! But, after I made a call to my mom and then to my dad, I realized this might be more serious than I first thought. There is colon cancer on both sides. Grandmother, uncles - too close to ignore.
My Dr. immediately scheduled me for a colonoscopy the next Tuesday (Miracle #2). I was bummed because that meant I had to leave the conference that is one of my highlights of my year at VA Beach to be back in time for the procedure.
Most people say they don't remember anything. Well, even though I am a non-violent person....I swatted a nurse. The surgeon came out and told me that they found a polyp and removed it and found another spot he was concerned about because he could not lift it up to see what was behind it. Since I was so feisty in the procedure, he was unable to finish and was scheduled for a barium study (hate the word enema!) to make sure the right side of the colon was clear. He said the tumor was small and hard. He was thinking he would want to take it out.
This whole journey started at my general physician's office. I call her my horse doctor. She tells me like it is whether I am ready to hear it or not. On this day, it was supposed to be just a follow up on some medication changes. When I first got there, the receptionist handed me a health checklist to update. I hesitated to add that I had blood in my stool for the last 4-6 weeks (miracle #1). Even though, I have had two children...therefore, I have hemorrhoids, I recorded the blood anyway. As my doctor went over ALL of the info on that sheet, she ordered another x-ray of my foot (bone spurs), asked in depth questions about how my hip is doing (bursitis & tendinitis) and then she froze. She turned at me and peered over her reading glasses with her steel blue eyes. "Does your family have a history of colon cancer?" She froze waiting for my response. I froze and was speechless. I had read a bit online about some of the things that could be causing the blood in my stool. Since it was bright red, it was almost certainly there because of the reason above, not cancer. But, it was still hard to hear a doctor say those words.
A family history! HA! My dad's family has struggled with just about every cancer on the planet. I have watched wonder family and friends struggle with the diagnosis and treatment of this invader. But, I am young. Only 42, there is no way I have colon cancer! But, after I made a call to my mom and then to my dad, I realized this might be more serious than I first thought. There is colon cancer on both sides. Grandmother, uncles - too close to ignore.
My Dr. immediately scheduled me for a colonoscopy the next Tuesday (Miracle #2). I was bummed because that meant I had to leave the conference that is one of my highlights of my year at VA Beach to be back in time for the procedure.
Most people say they don't remember anything. Well, even though I am a non-violent person....I swatted a nurse. The surgeon came out and told me that they found a polyp and removed it and found another spot he was concerned about because he could not lift it up to see what was behind it. Since I was so feisty in the procedure, he was unable to finish and was scheduled for a barium study (hate the word enema!) to make sure the right side of the colon was clear. He said the tumor was small and hard. He was thinking he would want to take it out.
Emotions
Everyone says you are being so positive.
What am I supposed to be doing?
I have 2 beautiful boys and an unbelievably awesome husband (I don't say that lightly). There is no anger here. I haven't felt that yet. Maybe it will come or maybe not.
Anger doesn't = strength.
I don't want my children to remember me by barking orders at them. I want them to remember me playing tag.
No, I don't plan on leaving this Earth any time soon! But, when faced with the big C, it does give you a different perspective.
So many people around me have died from this terrible disease. It is difficult to not be a little afraid of the outcome.
Day 1. It is all relative
This journey has been full of blessings. I bounced back from the surgery quicker than everyone thought I would. Every c/t scan was clear. Waking up yesterday from the port "install", I felt great! Sore but felt great all day. Have had a bit more anxiety this last week. Still feeling confident & positive.
Last night I slept well. For most people that isn't a problem, but for me, I don't sleep well when I am not stressed. So this had been a bit difficult to shut down my brain at night.
It's morning, I felt pretty good, just anxious. When we got to the cancer center, we parked in the cancer center spaces, it was another reality check. I saw Meg who was in Jr. women's club with me years ago. Here at augusta health, she is the breast navigator who helps people going through breast cancer. she went through breast cancer while we were in Jr. Women's Club. She asked was I was doing here. She gave me a hug and said they would take good care of me.
As we waited in the lobby, I gave David his Valentine's Day card. I get emotional more when I think about David and the boys than I do at any other time.
Once we got back to the back. We waited a few minutes for Dr. Palmer to put in the order.
Next, they what'd to press and poke around my chest to find the port. It wasn't pleasant but wasn't horrible. There were three nurses in here commenting on the swelling and wondering why Dr. Carmichael didn't leave the port accessed. They sterilized the port area & themselves. The, it started. For the next 20 minutes or more, they tried 3 different needles, pressed down hard and poked me. One nurse (later Nina would become one of my stabilities & angels of this process) gave me her hand to squeeze which really did help. Every time they said no or I can't get it, it was like someone punched me in the stomach. It wasn't the pain that was getting to me. Don't get me wrong it didn't feel good, but pain these days is all relative. Mentally I was bruised and battered. Just couldn't take the thought of not starting today. Just couldn't take the thought of them telling me I had to wait.
doing an iv for chemo.
I have always thought I was a pretty good judge of character (maybe a little on niaeve, but pretty good nonetheless). I proved that right today. The first nurse was meek but seemed nice enough but not confident. The next one was positive, seemed to know her stuff and knew the tricks to help me through the first poke. The third nurse that came in. Was overconfident and a bit bossy to the nurse that obviously knew what she was doing. She told the others that she was going to give it a try. She wasn't great about the little comforts while she dug around in my sore spot. After the third needle and 5th attempt of accessing the port, they decided they would put in an IV. The same overconfident nurse started trying to get a vein which was really hard after all the surgery and procedures I have had done in the last 2 months. So that wasn't going to be pretty! Dr. Palmer stopped by to say it would be okay if they waited until Monday to start. I really did not want to wait.
After collecting myself emotionally, I was ready to try one more time.....not three, but one more time.
....after they put the iv in a whole new team of nurses came in to look at the port. These ladies, one of which had spoken to me on the phone forever when I called just with a few casual questions. Gina had a few great sayings. One was....this is your first time going through this, but we have done this a lot. The second was....we are going to be close family whether you want us to or not. She has a great cadence to her words and a soft, yet confident voice. But the best part was the she had a twinkle in her eyes. The other two ladies that also poked around a bit were of the same demeanor and quality. I knew I could trust them to try it. I told them once not more. It went in and Gina flushed it out. SUCH a relief! I immediately felt better! Emotionally & physically I just felt great! Ahhhhh! We are on our way! I can visualize the drugs duck hunting for the cancer cells!
The rest of the chemo time was spent chatting with Wayne & Bethany scheming about how we were going to torture the first group of nurses! David and I had tomato soup, salad, apples for lunch. Drank 32 oz. of water. 1can do diet coke to get through the 1st attempt at accessing the port.
Finished the big "o" drug by 2:00. I started magnesium and calcium then the push of 5fu......the best named chemo drug ever!!! Well, I finally got out of there by 4:15. It was nice to get home and have the boys rush to see us.
At home I am really having to work hard to not touch cold things. I have never been good about starting and sticking with new routines, but I think I better get this one down or it won't be pretty!m
Last night I slept well. For most people that isn't a problem, but for me, I don't sleep well when I am not stressed. So this had been a bit difficult to shut down my brain at night.
It's morning, I felt pretty good, just anxious. When we got to the cancer center, we parked in the cancer center spaces, it was another reality check. I saw Meg who was in Jr. women's club with me years ago. Here at augusta health, she is the breast navigator who helps people going through breast cancer. she went through breast cancer while we were in Jr. Women's Club. She asked was I was doing here. She gave me a hug and said they would take good care of me.
As we waited in the lobby, I gave David his Valentine's Day card. I get emotional more when I think about David and the boys than I do at any other time.
Once we got back to the back. We waited a few minutes for Dr. Palmer to put in the order.
Next, they what'd to press and poke around my chest to find the port. It wasn't pleasant but wasn't horrible. There were three nurses in here commenting on the swelling and wondering why Dr. Carmichael didn't leave the port accessed. They sterilized the port area & themselves. The, it started. For the next 20 minutes or more, they tried 3 different needles, pressed down hard and poked me. One nurse (later Nina would become one of my stabilities & angels of this process) gave me her hand to squeeze which really did help. Every time they said no or I can't get it, it was like someone punched me in the stomach. It wasn't the pain that was getting to me. Don't get me wrong it didn't feel good, but pain these days is all relative. Mentally I was bruised and battered. Just couldn't take the thought of not starting today. Just couldn't take the thought of them telling me I had to wait.
doing an iv for chemo.
I have always thought I was a pretty good judge of character (maybe a little on niaeve, but pretty good nonetheless). I proved that right today. The first nurse was meek but seemed nice enough but not confident. The next one was positive, seemed to know her stuff and knew the tricks to help me through the first poke. The third nurse that came in. Was overconfident and a bit bossy to the nurse that obviously knew what she was doing. She told the others that she was going to give it a try. She wasn't great about the little comforts while she dug around in my sore spot. After the third needle and 5th attempt of accessing the port, they decided they would put in an IV. The same overconfident nurse started trying to get a vein which was really hard after all the surgery and procedures I have had done in the last 2 months. So that wasn't going to be pretty! Dr. Palmer stopped by to say it would be okay if they waited until Monday to start. I really did not want to wait.
After collecting myself emotionally, I was ready to try one more time.....not three, but one more time.
....after they put the iv in a whole new team of nurses came in to look at the port. These ladies, one of which had spoken to me on the phone forever when I called just with a few casual questions. Gina had a few great sayings. One was....this is your first time going through this, but we have done this a lot. The second was....we are going to be close family whether you want us to or not. She has a great cadence to her words and a soft, yet confident voice. But the best part was the she had a twinkle in her eyes. The other two ladies that also poked around a bit were of the same demeanor and quality. I knew I could trust them to try it. I told them once not more. It went in and Gina flushed it out. SUCH a relief! I immediately felt better! Emotionally & physically I just felt great! Ahhhhh! We are on our way! I can visualize the drugs duck hunting for the cancer cells!
The rest of the chemo time was spent chatting with Wayne & Bethany scheming about how we were going to torture the first group of nurses! David and I had tomato soup, salad, apples for lunch. Drank 32 oz. of water. 1can do diet coke to get through the 1st attempt at accessing the port.
Finished the big "o" drug by 2:00. I started magnesium and calcium then the push of 5fu......the best named chemo drug ever!!! Well, I finally got out of there by 4:15. It was nice to get home and have the boys rush to see us.
At home I am really having to work hard to not touch cold things. I have never been good about starting and sticking with new routines, but I think I better get this one down or it won't be pretty!m
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