There are many times during this journey of 5 treatments so far that I find myself in a dark place. I feel like this will never end. It seems as though the blisters on my tongue will not allow me to taste food or drink a beverage without pain, the sensitivity in my hands will never allow me to hold cold drink or Grayson's cold hand, the knives in my throat will not let me lick an ice cream cone and the sinking feeling in my stomach will be there forever. Then, on about day 5 after each treatment a veil of darkness and hopelessness is lifted. I see that things are slowly improving and that I WILL get to the end. I WILL survive these treatments to live a life with my family.
I fear the return of cancer. I fear the stopping or lessening of the oxaliplatin will lessen my chances for complete recovery.
Then there are many days filled with sunlight and amazing laughter with my family.
